This might be the most annoying post ever and I’m not sorry.

FOR THE ONE MILLIONTH TIME, THE TIGERS ARE NOT HAVING A FIRESALE. THE TIGERS ARE NOT FUCKING ‘PENNILESS’. ALL THOSE BAD CONTRACTS PEOPLE ARE WANKING OVER? THEY COME OFF THE BOOKS AFTER ’10.

ALSO? THIS IS MIKE FUCKING ILITCH, PEOPLE. RECOGNIZE. IF HE DIDN’T CUT MAGGLIO ORDOÑEZ, WHO DIDN’T START HITTING UNTIL THERE WERE BASICALLY TWO MONTHS TO GO IN THE SEASON AND WHO KICKED IN AN $18 MIL. VESTING OPTION BECAUSE THE TIGERS KEPT PLAYING HIM DESPITE KNOWING THAT IF THEY KEPT PLAYING HIM THEY’D HAVE TO PAY HIM $18 MIL. FOR 2010, AND DIDN’T CUT CARLOS GUILLÉN, WHO WAS BASICALLY INJURED AND USELESS FOR MOST OF THE SEASON, AND ACTUALLY ADDED CONTRACTS (WASHBURN AND HUFF) AT THE DEADLINE RATHER THAN HAVING A FIRESALE LIKE MANY PREDICTED, FOR EXAMPLE, HE IS NOT GOING TO START NOW.

FINANCES DON’T SCARE MIKE ILITCH, MIKE ILITCH SCARES FINANCES. OKAY?

ALSO, WHITE SOX, WE ARE NOT TRADING YOU CURTIS GRANDERSON STRAIGHT UP. I UNDERSTAND HE’S A SOUTHSIDE NATIVE, WHITE SOX FANS. I UNDERSTAND YOU THINK IT’S A CRIME HE ENDED UP IN DETROIT. BUT SORRY, YOU’RE NOT GETTING HIM UNLESS IT’S A THREE-TEAM DEAL INVOLVING A NON-AL CENTRAL TEAM. AND WE GET ALEXEI RAMIREZ. JUST DEAL WITH IT.

ALSO IF MILTON BRADLEY IS ANYWHERE NEAR A POTENTIAL GRANDERSON-TO-THE-CUBS TRADE, I WILL JUMP OFF THE GODDAMN AMBASSADOR BRIDGE. JUST SAYIN’.

Tigers address their lack of hitting with … a left handed starter

So the Tigers made an early splash by getting Jarrod Washburn from the Mariners for relatively little– just Luke French and Mauricio Robles. Good. He can bolster the rotation and slip into the third spot. He can eat some of Porcello’s innings too, I’m sure.

But they couldn’t swing a deal for a left-handed hitter? Was every team with a left-handed bat available asking for Rick Porcello, Ryan Perry and Casey Crosby? They couldn’t even land Luke Scott, who sucks against everyone but the Tigers?

And the MFWS finally landed Jake Peavy. No guarantee that he’ll pitch again this season though, according to Bob Nightengale’s twitter. Interesting.

IDK, IDK. I would have liked a left-handed bat too.

lulz at the people whining and handing the division over to the MFWS because they got Peavy, who’s injured, and we didn’t get a bat. Okay Debbie Downers, go jump off the bandwagon now.