2012 MLB Draft All-Name Team

1B: Correlle Prime
SS: John Bushyhead
2B: Joe Sever
3B: Zarley Zalewski

OF: Mallex Smith
OF: Skye Bolt
OF: Torsten Boss

C: Austin Chubb

Spencer Kieboom
Douglas Crumlich
Jamodrick McGruder
Sly Edwards

RHP: Zebulon Sneed
RHP: Storm Throne
RHP: Brock Dykxhoorn
RHP: Buck Farmer
LHP: Max Foody
RHP: Kieran Lovegrove
RHP: Lance Breedlove
LHP: Austin Thrailkill
RHP: Damien Magnifico
RHP: Walker Weickel
LHP: Michael Heesch
LHP: Fernando Fernandez-Beltran

Honorable mentions: Anthony Bemboom, Beau Maggi, D.J. Driggers, Rustin Sveum, Justin Chigbogu

Fun With Roster Pics!

It’s time for that age-old tradition: bad Photo Day roster shots!

If you’re anything like me, you wait with bated breath for Photo Day to roll along. Inevitably, almost every picture will be godawful, and you get a great sense of schadenfreude as you gleefully pick apart all the flaws of your favorite ballplayers (which have been magnified by the camera lens for your viewing pleasure). :D

Admittedly, the Tigers’ shots aren’t as bad as some teams’ (such as the San Francisco Giants, who apparently conducted their shoot in the basement of an insane asylum, complete with asylum residents), but there are still gems to be had!

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your unrealistic trade proposals suck

It’s that time of the year when fans throw out however many trade proposals they can, no matter how unrealistic they might be and without regard to the teams’ needs.

The Braves want outfielders for Prado and/or Jurrjens, so hay Tigers, just give them Dirks and Raburn! Git ‘r done, Dumbrowski!!

Or, hay the As want middle infielders so just trade them Danny Worth, Will Rhymes, and Don Kelly for Gio Gonzalez right nao!

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In the words of Torii Hunter: That was stupid. It was all stupid. Everybody was stupid.

So, that game. Weaver almost upstaged the Weaver/Verlander pitchers’ duel all on his own.

I really do think Ordoñez was checking to see if his homerun ball was fair or foul, but Guillén and Weaver both acted like asses, imo.

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How do you solve a problem like Raburn?

(Sung to the tune of “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria,” from The Sound of Music.)

Some Tigers fans think Ryan Raburn should be designated for assignment. They’d rather risk giving him up for nothing than keeping him on the team and hoping for the best. It’s the only logical thing to do, obviously, since Raburn isn’t known for having ridiculously hot second halves or anything.

Oh, wait.

My solution is obvious: Brennan Boesch is a streaky first half player and Ryan Raburn is a streaky second half player. Find out a way to combine them into one player to maximize their talents. Therefore, you have Boesch’s first half and Raburn’s second half– in one guy! They’re the perfect player!

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Game 57: RAGE!

If I never see another bunt with a runner in scoring position, I will be a happy woman.

Jim Leyland, there is already a fucking runner in scoring position. You do not need to bunt to increase your chances of scoring. A base hit will probably score him. The bunt is superfluous.

* * *

The lack of base hits with runners in scoring position– off two struggling White Sox pitchers, no less– makes me want to smash things into tiny pieces with a sledgehammer, throw those tiny pieces into a blender, make a smoothie from those tiny pieces (with some chunks of frozen dog crap to add flavor) and then force the people I am raging at to choke it down.

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