Everything sucked tonight. Defense, offense (minus a Don Kelly (???!!!) homerun), pitching. All of it. It sucked.
Now I’m going to complain about the people complaining about Phil Coke being in the rotation.
I apologize for this post not being funny and/or abusrd.
Anyone who suggests we move Coke back to the friggin’ bullpen and bring Oliver back up/move Furbush into Coke’s spot/rush up Jacob Turner/etc. is going to get punched in the throat.
Coke has been a solid number five. Prior to tonight’s start, he had above average numbers. In fact, his numbers are better than Max “Ace #2” Scherzer’s and yet no one would dare argue Coke is the better pitcher. No one who supports Coke in the rotation would try to argue he’s better than a number five.
You think you can do better than an above average number five starter? Good for you. Chances are, right now, Andy Oliver and Charlie Furbush would not give you above average number five stats. Hell, Oliver, the wunderkind himself, got tossed on the trash heap by most fans after two rocky starts (in which he managed to hold his own for the most part, after bad starts) and his supporters promptly jumped on the Furbushwagon. What happens when/if Furbush isn’t the answer, then? Time to rev up the Belowmobile? The Villarrealcycle?
WHEN DOES THE MADNESS END?
Right now, Furbush and Oliver are not better than Phil Coke. Yes, Phil Coke, the doofy fat ginger with the extra anklebone, that Phil Coke, is your best option.
Friggin’ deal with it.